You Are What I Call A Home
by happyoreokidd
Summary: An alternate post 9x08, to spare Harvey some heartbreak. He's not good at the comfort thing, but he likes to think he's getting better.


Thank you for all of my lovely reviews with the last fic! Made me so happy to see all of you enjoying my writing, especially since I've been really self-conscious about my ability to do so after some less-than-pleasant encounters with professors. It really means the world.

I want to preface this by saying "Weather" by atheniandream is one of my favorite fanfics _ever_. I think we all know they're a phenomenal writer, and that one in particular is on another level. Really made me pine to see Harvey protecting Donna on the screen, but since we've only got 2 episodes left and they did That Stupid Thing, looks like Donna's going to end up being there for Harvey (yet again) and I'm going to have to take matters into my own hands. So read this first, and then go read "Weather" because to get even more satisfaction outside of this shitty plot development.

Here's my big "fuck you" to whoever trusted his gut and decided to carelessly kill off the under-appreciated hero of the #darvey fandom.

* * *

He feels like he's on top of the fucking world. He has, once again, proven to his enemies that he is literally untouchable and he can't get over how desolate both Malik and Forstman looked when he delivered the news that he came out on top _again_ despite their multiple attempts to take him down. That'll teach them to lay another finger on him, Donna, or the firm.

Most of all, he can't wait to share the good news with Donna. He's been trying to keep the stress of everything away from her because he doesn't want to worry her, but he knows she cares too much for his efforts to be recognized. In retrospect, he's happy that he has a big win they can both share, and is taken aback momentarily about how right Samantha was, how much he loved being able to come home to her.

He's so lucky to have her.

He loves her so much.

Fuck, there really was nothing that could bring down his mood right now. If she's willing, he's relatively certain he could go for _at least _3 rounds tonight.

When he enters, he starts his dialogue about the ass he kicked tonight, until his eyes land on her.

Something is extremely wrong. He doesn't need her sharp intuition to know that much. Her eyes are opaque, her bottom lip is quivering, and she's hugging herself tightly. The way she looks slams him into a state of panic, because something has happened and he has no idea what.

"Donna, what's wrong?"

A million scenario runs through his mind, each one getting worse and worse. _He's still going to prison. Something had gone wrong with Sheila's pregnancy. She somehow found out about he's also been thinking about having kids, and she's decided to leave him because of the fact. _

He stands there, rooted to the spot, paralyzed in anticipation of whatever she's about to say next. There's only a few seconds between them when she slowly opens her mouth, but it feels like an eternity.

"My dad... He-" Donna's face crumbles before she can get the words out, and he's on her in an instant, as if his body were on auto-pilot. He envelopes and hugs her as tight as he can, and tries not to let his heart break fully alongside hers and her hands grip his shirt before she collapses into his chest with her sobs.

She tilts her face into his neck, and he responds by moving one hand to caress her hair soothingly.

They just stand there for a while, him repeating the motion. She blubbers out bits and pieces, something about "heart attack" and "gone", and he whispers his condolences as she tries to find stability again.

Harvey forgets everything about his victory, their victory. He wants so badly for her to always be there for his big wins. He's _determined_ to be here for her through their big loss.

Truth is, he's never done this before. He's always been the one to receive news that's tough to swallow, and he's managed to do so in most situations. It came at the cost of nearly eating him alive, and he definitely doesn't want that for Donna. She has him now as much as he has her. He wants so badly to hep her grieve properly and alleviate her pain, but it also terrifies him that anything he does is going to make her feel worse.

_What had he wanted when it had been him in the same shoes, years ago? _They were so much younger back then, so uncertain of themselves and their future together that they could only stoically stand there and avoid eye contact. At that time, she'd respected him enough to not approach him, but still provide support in her own way. Years later, they were still the same- completely fucked without each other, but now with the emotional ability to express it.

He had a hug covered, so that was good. Before he can think too much into it, he moves slowly to place a long kiss on her temple, thinking it might be a comforting gesture.

"It's okay, Donna, I've got you. Just let it all out."

She cries for a while longer until she's just whimpering. Silence follows soon after, so he maneuvers her so that he can place a kiss on her forehead before he tucks her gently under chin. She listens to his steady breathing and tries to match the rhythm, before slowly releasing a deep sigh before pulling back and wiping away her tears.

"Oh my god, I've completely soaked through your shirt," is the first thing she says.

Harvey gives her an exasperated look, as if he can't believe that's the first thing out of her mouth. Even at times of her own crises, she's like this. She's impossible.

"Donna," he deadpans. "This, is not of anybody's concern right now." With confidence that he was never aware he had, Harvey grabs her hand and leads her to the direction of their bedroom. "Come on, let's get changed and then you can tell me what happened."

Ten minutes later, they're at his counter brushing their teeth, him in a white t-shirt and sweatpants while she wears his old Harvard shirt and cotton shorts. He's been watching her carefully, has noticed that her eyes welled up twice while they were changing.

She quickly spits her toothpaste up and finishes washing up, and waits for him to follow suit by staring blankly at herself in the reflection of the mirror. He takes his time, allowing her to bide in her own thoughts, and finishes up shortly after. When he turns the faucet off, she doesn't move, and he sees that her eyes are getting that misty look again. He moves behind her and wraps his arms around again, looking at her through the reflection. She doesn't say anything, doesn't make any noise, just closes her eyes and tilts her face into his strong arms to find solace in the embrace.

"Let's go to bed," he suggests. She can only bring herself to nod.

Donna walks slowly to her side of the bed and slips into the comforters immediately. He goes out briefly to turn off all the lights and make sure his door is locked, before coming back in and dimming the lights in her bedroom.

"Do you need anything?" he thinks of asking.

"Maybe a cup of water and some Tylenol?"

He pads into the kitchen to fetch her request, before coming back in.

"Anything else?"

"Just you," she responds simply.

He inwardly smiles, and walks to place the items on her nightstand before walking around to his side of the bed and climbing in. For a moment, he remembers how he thought this night was going to go. And then he thinks about how much he would much rather become the person she could trust with anything and feel safe with at any time over anything.

She reaches for him before he can reach for her. It's not any different from how they usually sleep, but he senses that she's holding onto him even tighter now, as if he's the only thing that's keeping her grounded. He rubs circles on her back.

"Donna, what... happened?" He's not sure he should ask, but thinks he should probably know.

She mumbles into his shirt. "My parents went out for lunch... And he got this weird look on his face and when my mom asked him what was wrong, he...started clutching his chest and... fell onto the floor."

"Oh my god, Donna, I'm so sorry..."

He hears her sniffling before continuing. "When the paramedics arrived, there was nothing they could do. He was gone, just like that. Everything happened so quickly. "

Her voice cracks saying the last words, and she starts to cry again.

He knows exactly how it feels. Even after all those years, he still remembers feeling like he had been dropped into a never-ending pit for hours on end. Most of all, he remembers the sense of helplessness he felt, having lost someone so important to him in the blink of an eye without even the chance to say a goodbye.

He racks his head for more ways he could soothe her, but finds himself at a dead end.

"Want to tell me more about your dad?" he asks, desperate.

She contemplates his question. He immediately second-guesses himself, and thinks he might have just opened up a can of worms that he really should have instead, taped down, put in a box, and sent to a deposit box for safe-keeping.

"Yeah, I'd like that." is her response.

She moves slowly to lay on her back, and he props himself on one elbow and faces her. Both her hands grab one of his and brings it to her waist. One hand intertwines their fingers, and the other traces his knuckles lightly.

"Where should I start?"

They spend the next half hour reminiscing about Donna's childhood. How her father had tried his best to make it idyllic, from the big house with a yard and a swing in the backyard to the piano and shooting range lessons. How she had had a bad prom experience because of her jerk date, and her dad had stayed at home the day after and bought her her first Chunky Monkey. How he had laughed instead of yelling at her when she accidentally scratched the car while learning how to drive. How things kind of fell apart when his business came crashing down, but how determined he was to make things work financially and within the family. How he had always supported her through her life decisions, from moving into the city to pursue acting to becoming the best executive assistant.

"Well I certainly didn't know that much, but I did know he was a good family man," he muses. "All of this just proves I was right."

"Really?" she arches an eyebrow. "My dad? James Paulsen? The shady, doesn't know how to run a business man, the "Donna I will not let you give your 401k to this man" James Paulsen?"

He looks at her in disbelief. "Hey! That was a past me. I'll have you know when I was out here busting my ass off weeks ago to prove I would be a worthy part of the family, I told him I had the utmost respect for having a marriage, a lovely daughter, and a life surrounded by love."

She chuckles, and places her hand on his chest. "Ok, ok, I believe you. Don't get your pretty little face worked up about this."

They fall into silence again. She scoots closer and they lock eyes.

"Thank you for saying that, Harvey. I'm sure he really appreciated it."

"I hope he knows I meant it. And I bet my entire career he knows how much you love him."

"You know, with how often you're being arrested, I'm not sure that's worth much anymore."

"Funny, are we? Seems like you're in a better mood."

"Because I have you," she states, matter-of-fact. He feels her hand on his cheek, and his hand follows. They just look at each other, and it feels like time has stopped.

"You know it's still okay to be sad, right?"

She doesn't say a word, and casts her glance downwards.

"_Donna_." He gently tilts her chin so she's staring at him. "Do you know what I love about you?

The fact that you're always fighting battles for someone else. For years, you've been taking care of situations that have nothing to do with you in the first place. Mike and Rachel with their wedding venue. Louis with Norma. Me with... well, _everything_. You run around this firm in these impossibly high heels, you exude power, and you choose to use it to help our your friends. And yet, you expect nothing in return, because you don't believe in doing favors just to receive them in return, you just have this huge heart. We would literally be nowhere near where we are without you, and because of your presence, we are all better people today.

You are an amazing human being, and everybody knows that. But right now, all you have to be is you. You, who is feeling pain, sadness, and loss. You, as a person who has just lost her father. So for the love of god, just once, please let us return the favor and take care of you."

She looks stunned, almost, and stares at him for a few seconds.

"Does that sound okay? Can you let go of the reins for maybe a week? Get in touch with your emotions?"

She keeps staring.

"Earth to Donna," he prods.

"I love you, Harvey," is what she says before she pulls him into a slow kiss. It's gentle and filled with gratitude, and he kisses her back as best as he can while trying to communicate to her that she has nothing to be thankful for.

He notices there are tears when they pull apart, but he suspects it's for a different reason.

"Let's try and sleep," he breathes out into the darkness.

She agrees, and tucks herself into his chest.

"What comes next?" she asks timidly.

"I'm not sure, but we'll face it together," is all he can offer her.

It's more than good enough.


End file.
